


Charred Ashes

by blxckh0les42



Series: Whisper, Slowly: A series of KOTLC Oneshots [2]
Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: Ambitious But Rubbish, Angst, Ashes, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Established Relationship, Fire, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, IN MY DEFENCE THIS SHIP IS GEARED FOR ANGST, M/M, No Happy Ending Fest, Please Don't Hate Me, Slight Canon Divergence, Slight swearing, Violence, and I would like to plead not guilty, and yes I will go down with this ship, anyway neverseen au, but will I change?, i know it says major character death, like I said please don't kill me I know this is heart wrenching many people have told me, no beta we die like men, no:), this is mainly focused on the neverseen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 04:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28504425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blxckh0les42/pseuds/blxckh0les42
Summary: Tam knows it, somewhere deep inside his bones, he knows and knows and knows, but somehow the bright sparks and the numbing pillars of flame still bring about an element of surprise, moreover so when he realises the way he’s bound to the ground, light chains shackling him, a sorrowful glance from Glimmer as Gisela emerges from the flames, like an angel-//And maybe deep inside he knows,-but purer angels have held on to faith less//..................................Or, where Tam and Keefe have both been running all their lives, with nothing but a home and sense of joy amongst themselves, but lately their nights have been dark and dreary, with faces numb... the world growing blurry- and all of a sudden one pulse is goneandeverythingisdark...//But isn't that just another night?//
Relationships: Keefe Sencen/Tam Song
Series: Whisper, Slowly: A series of KOTLC Oneshots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2087739
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Charred Ashes

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Kam week, figured I might post it here because this hands down of my favourite pieces-
> 
> t/w: Blood, Fire and ashes, major character death, swearing, very very very much angst so be warned
> 
> If you are triggered by any of the above, I would suggest being a bit careful while reading :)))
> 
> (please do not kill me for the ending I am sorry-)

_Tonight, Tam thought, as he stared up into the vast expanse of the sky, the raven hair matted into a jagged braid, silver-tipped, dipped into the moon's shadow-_

_//But the moon is nought but drunk  
-the stars nought but intoxicated  
And maybe that's why he feels their call  
-and wonders, and wonders, and//_

_-but not quite, he can't help but think that's it's just one of those days, one of them where he's just sick of being theirs. He walks, the streetlight and the smog of the forbidden cities a foreboding cloak, and when he traces the jagged scars ruminating just under the pale skin, cut and bled so many times, he can't help but wonder if-  
_

_//tonight he could-  
but not without him-//  
  
_

_-tonight, the embers bleeding, the hushed whispers and immense looks would finally, finally come to fruition. A boy with fury in his veins, a boy with charred bones in the tip of his tongue, a boy with a thousand years of heartache and now, a boy finally with an impact._

_After all, a year is a long time, but not so long with him._

\-----

**It's the fury of the adrenaline that keeps them both on their toes. Their hearts pounding, though far apart yet somehow connected, always in sync, and maybe that's why the colours momentarily blur as a throwing star passes near to him, almost nicking his ear in the process.**

**//Shit!-//**

**Purple blooms, much like the hyacinths he once fell in love with, similar to the lull which befell Apollo and he blows hard through the gap between his teeth, swallowing the crimson bile that rises in his throat as he yearns for again, and again, and again, the teeth marks as he bites down in nervousness soon melting into honeyed perfection of the perfect child, honeyed angel, perfect victim-  
**

**//You bloody idiot! Can't you see-//**

**And tonight, Keefe can't help but think that the walls will bleed.**

\-----

_Tam knows it, somewhere deep inside his bones, he knows and knows and knows, but somehow the bright sparks and the numbing pillars of flame still bring about an element of surprise.  
Moreover so when he realises the way he's bound to the ground, light chains shackling him, a sorrowful glance from Glimmer as Gisela emerges from the flames, like an angel-_

_//And maybe deep inside he knows,_

_-but purer angels have held on to faith less//_

_-And she backhands him, sending him sprawling into the gritty floor, swallowing dirt and blood and flames (flames!) and she spits, smiling and running as she slowly reaches out on fingernail, drawing the thinnest amount of blood and he flinches._

_"You think I haven't noticed you run around to the black swan? Ever since that moonlark, you've been infatuated with them, but going as far as to tell them our hideouts and plans?"  
_

_She slaps him again, carving her crooked fingernail up towards the already punctured skin, dragging, and dragging, and dragging and Tam can't help but whimper or stop the cold seeping through his bones, the worry jolting through-_

_"You think I haven't noticed you running back to them, although they killed your sister? Do you think I would not have been able to tell? That too, you dared hang around that child of mine, so brazenly, as though you were anyone and anything normal ?"_

_Pushing him onto the floor, he weeps, openly and brazenly, he's not sure what for but it's like there's a fire surrounding the shackles that bound him as he pulls hard, desperate to run away, transported back to the cold, dreary mission where he first met Sophie and simultaneously to the last, where and Keefe both left, unspoken words but a quiet silence between each other as they let the light embrace them (but this light burns!)-_

_//and he's six months younger and he yearns-  
and the pain dulls because he's running his lips over his,  
honeyed freckles set on warm fire, his smile golden  
and together, maybe, maybe he thinks that riches maybe do exist//_

_And Gisela struts away with a resounding cackle, the flames dangerously close now, hanging and pushing him over the edge of perilous and delirious and perilous things, and he can't help but wonder if maybe this is when the darkness chokes him_

_//Those flames are grander than the whole world, aren't they?//_

\-----

**Maybe it's just an intuition feeling or the sudden malicious smile on his mother's face, but The Eye on the front of his cloak seems to somehow hum with pleasure as he starts back to the flaming warehouse, black cloak swishing behind him and he can't help but press his hands to the small windowpane, jerking back in annoyance as he sees, hidden in an alcove, almost gone, almost numb, almost-**

**//nonononononononono-  
Not him! Anyone but him!//**

**And he's breaking the barricade, hands flung about and eyes wild and hair mused as he's frantically running, dousing the aurenflare wherever he can and running, running, running, running (Just not Him!) and maybe it's just the illogical nature of the situation, and momentarily, he spots another body, and his mind is lulled, soothed, comforted for a brief respite, the fire making his mind drip further and further away from everything-**

**//It's not-  
not him-//**

**And then he's choked, the memories crawling under and burrowing, whispering sweet nothings as he's off again, running after the faint voice that always held him, and let him feel-**

**//Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit-  
Please just not him-//**

**And the walls close in on him, the memories yearning, and yearning and yearning in his mind, body, soul, heart, lungs, blood-**

**It's that fact that almost causes him to miss that fragile body at all.**

\-----

_Tam is dreaming._

_There's no other explanation for it._

_But then he comes closer, and Keefe touches his cool palm, freckled and weathered, an ice pack against the blistered and burnt skin (flames, ashes, skin, bone), and maybe that's when Tam knows-_

_//Bleeding red footprints into the ground where flowers  
grew to mask my suffering, but I heard the  
murmuring and you told me to  
let it go, and I tried, I tried, and tried-//_

_bleeding, and haltingly, he lets himself feel and cry as he sinks in relief, the two boys joint in whole (the flames licked, but he didn't care he couldn't care) and he brushes, his chapped lips and ash like hands over the contours of Keefe's skin, memorising the features as he felt his eyes swell, and he's bleeding and it's all too much-_

\-----

**Keefe cries, the pain but a flicker in the back of his mind and he's numbed, his whole soul numbed as he pulls the boy with darkness in his skin, rebellion in his bones, fire in his heart and chants his name like a prayer, crying out to all saints and he pours emotion, all selfless and loving, all the word he couldn't say and maybe he speaks in it the short flutter of his lips on his and he's crying and praying-**

**// Nothimnothimnothimnothimothimnothim-//**

**And Aphrodite twists, her butterfly-like smile enlarging, growing and growing as her lips curl into a snarl and she laughs, a cruel sound behind his ear and squeezes, trapping him and he gives he gives he gives and he bleeds.**

**He kisses him more furiously, for that is how a dead boy dreams.**

\-----

****_Tam throws himself into the action, falling limp in his expert like hands, wondering whether the bumps that appeared on his hands, gurgling and burning (and the flames lick him and they cry for him, and he mourns them too) hurt him too, and his golden like lips burn into his muscle memory, the clique like "American dream" and the beauty and all of Keefe burns, (he burns!) -~Keefe's hugs and his chapped lips and freckled hands and the dramatics of his speech. The tender touch of the cloth as he ran his once lithe and perfect fingers over his eyebrows, soothing him and letting the darkness comfort him like it always did to everyone else._

_//Linh?-_

_-Shh... You're safe now_

_But you're dead!-_

_-aren't you?//_

_And as he drinks in his last gulp of air, breathing just enough so that he could make it to the end of the tunnel, he comforts him, his beloved who he never could forget, the light in the darkness, the beauty in him, the entanglement and he laughs, his throat scratchy and pale-_

_" **Hold me darling, just a little while.** "_

_//A year is a long time, but not enough.//_

_And that is how the flames finally drink him._

\-----

**Deep down, Keefe knows as soon as Tam's eyes flutter close, but he can't help but stare in shock at his pale, ash-covered lips, numbed but finally, finally at peace. He carries him out, the flames doing nothing but stoking but his anger, and the walls close him, and he falls, the memories forcing themselves into his throat, numbing and overpowering and too precious to keep.  
Aphrodite is cruel and leaves little but charred bones and a bony bag for him to mourn, his comforting scent never still lingering.**

**//and yet he lives, he lives, he lives but the walls are bleeding and he's joined them too//**

**And outside the burning warehouse, cracking and injured and broken, he truly lets himself feel and he cries, raw from the pain and the fierceness and he screams (and someone's hands hold him back) and he kicks and bleeds and cries, for that is what he happens when he truly feels, truly sees, truly cries, and the walls will bleed.**

**There will be more screaming and fighting, but it is hollow and weak and eyes streaming he escapes, and the walls are closing around him and even though he's free, presumed dead (the walls may just leave him dead) and he cries and feels, longing for the soft touch of his lips to his own, cracked and broken but two boys whole in their broken pieces-**

//After the party, he and Tam are laughing,

-finally alone, sharing whole lifelines in their kisses

and with words half slurred, Tam asks, _"Would you leave? With me?"_

 **"My love, but why would you? My legacy"** -

_"But what if there is none? The black swan-"_

**"-were idealists. The neverseen wants a world-"**

**"** _With people like us?"_

**"-Don't run after the black swan, I swear this is our place,"**

_"Here? Like this?"_

" **....Together. Together and always fighting."**

And Tam slowly nods, letting the painful words sink in. _"So it's a no"_

And Keefe replies needily, **"Please. Stay. For me."**

And it is maybe then Keefe realises their love, for Tam does nothing but offers a chaste smile and nod, the darkness but a cloak for the emotions they both hid, one of sadness mixed with grief, other relief, for what was an utopia without false beauties?//

**And Keefe slacks against the wall, realisations choking him and he's crying and crying and crying-  
**

//How could he have forgotten how that soft smile turned a little strained, how could he have forgotten Tam had never wanted to fight? He always just wanted to live. So then how did Keefe restrict him, a noose tightening slowly around a marked child's neck? How could he have been so blind?//

**After all, laughter is bitter to the burnt mouth.**

**Author's Note:**

> *shakes begging bowl*
> 
> kudös n lieks for the unrestfool dead pls


End file.
